stop cockblocking yourself. :)

day 11 of 11!!!! a gentle reminder to get out of your own way

I was talking to a friend the other day (and I know how that sounds, but seriously, this is a real story). To be frank, it was tough. This friend in particular is one of the most talented people I know. He has these incredible ideas that light him up when he talks about them, and he seems to see the world in a way no one else really does. And yet, every time he gets close to starting on an idea, this wall comes shooting up. He’ll say he’s not ready yet, that he needs to learn one more thing, or that the timing isn’t quite right. And with every excuse, I see the spark in his eye get a little dimmer. It’s like a little karate character lives in his brain, chopping down any good idea before it can take root.

Later that same day, as I was walking home, I realised a lot of us have this tendency. Including me. In simpler terms, we like to cockblock ourselves from becoming the people we want to be. We end up filling this imaginary bucket with every reason we’re not good enough, not smart enough, not ready enough, not talented enough, and then we carry it around with us everywhere.

But I’m tired of carrying this heavy-ass, good-for-nothing bucket around, and I’m dropping it exactly where I stand right now. Goodbye! I’m spilling the contents of this smelly bucket into the gutter, exactly where it belongs, with the rest of the sewage. Because standing in your own way isn’t a cute look. It’s a tragedy and a ridiculous waste of your single shot at this wild, precious thing called life.

I realise, and I hope you do too, that the world is so much bigger and kinder than we ever care to admit. You might be surprised by how many people are willing to help and how open they are to sharing their time and wisdom if you just ask. That’s not to mention that we are living in a golden age. The information and tools available to us today are incomparable to any other point in history. With the capabilities that the internet and AI have given us, we can leverage our creativity and learn pretty much anything as long as we have a wifi connection. The opportunity is simply overwhelming, and the excuses to not become the person you want to be continue to dwindle.

I will be the first to admit that there are days I feel a little extra tired, a little like I want to feel sorry for myself. Sometimes, I look at others and excuse myself for not doing what I know I can because, well, I was dealt a tough hand. But this is a simple reality of life we all need to move on from. There will always be people who have more and who have less than you do. Those who have more have their own set of problems; don’t forget that the grass is always greener, but believe me, there are weeds on their side of the fence that might be even tougher to kill. And then there are people who have far less opportunity and advantage than you, with challenges you or I could probably never imagine. But the common thread between the successful ones is that they are not into the look of getting in their own way. They are the people who are owning it, running into the world’s arms unafraid of falling on their face because they know getting back up is the whole point.

And the wildest, most obvious fact that we all tend to forget? Nobody, and I mean nobody or their mother, knows what the hell they are doing. The simple fact is that we are all out here living life for the very first time. No one has the answer book to this grand, terrifying, beautiful improvisation we call life. In other words, no one has the secret sauce sitting in their pantry.

So I guess what I’m saying is that all you have to do is start. All you have to do is risk looking like an idiot. You only need to write one word. Send one email. Reach out to that person you admire. You have to try and think about the problem from a different angle. You just have to keep trying, because yes, sometimes you will get in your own way (this is part and parcel of the human experience), but the real, most beautiful work is learning how to get out of your own way and move on.